Mom doesn’t have
the energy to prepare her own meals anymore. Should
dad really still be living on his own? I don’t
want to talk about nursing homes.
Concerns like these about caring for older relatives
are often hard and tinged with a sadness that comes
with acknowledging that someone you love is becoming
less independent.
According to Jane Holland, director of the UI Family
Services Office, the University can help staff and
faculty who are caring for elders. Through a unique
partnership with Elder Services, Inc., UI Family
Services provides a variety of services to all UI
employees who are caring for elderly relatives or
friends. Social workers from Elder Services, Inc.,
are available for one-on-one meetings at campus locations
twice each month.
Family Services’ web site
also provides links to useful resources, and the
office has a library of helpful materials. (www.uiowa.edu/hr/oe/worklife/famserv)
Family Services director Jane Holland and Steve
Siglin, a social worker with Elder Services, Inc.,
talked with fyi about how the elder care program
serves the University community.
Why has the University developed an elder care program?
Jane Holland: In 1997, we conducted a survey of
UI human resources representatives and conducted
focus groups about elder care needs. What hit me
about the focus groups is that you could hear the
tiredness, the weariness, the sense of being overwhelmed.
Elder care is a very private issue. People don’t
talk to one another about it. When you’re making
elder care decisions, you’re grieving and mourning.
Often, the need to care for an older person arises
as a crisis, not as a planned event, and that doesn’t
make proactive discussion easier.
This program is a way for the University to communicate
to staff and faculty that you are important to us,
that we know you have concerns in your lives, and
that the University wants to support you. We continually
strive to build a community.
The University partners with Elder Services, Inc.,
for part of its elder care program. Why?
Holland: We made a conscious choice
to partner with an independent agency. They are clearly
the experts
and know how to get people into the right systems
and how to take advantage of financial services.
They also provide support to the caregiver, which
is different from providing support to elderly individuals
themselves.
What can people get out of meeting with an Elder
Services social worker?
Steve Siglin: Having the chance to meet one-on-one
reduces a common sense of isolation. People are glad
to find out there are so many people who are dealing
with the same issues.
I tend to serve as a resource person, pointing people
in the right direction and getting them started in
finding the appropriate resources. There are a lot
of resources out there and people don’t realize
that until they meet with me and my colleagues.
I also serve as a listener—there’s a
lot of emotional support needed. People want recognition
that they’re dealing with stress and emotions
that they might not be comfortable with. We can validate
that their feelings are perfectly normal.
The folks who come in to meet with me are astute;
they know how to find resources once I help them
get started. If the elderly person doesn’t
[want to accept help] now, you can continue to seek
information, because inevitably you’ll need
it at some point.
What can someone do if
an elderly parent, relative, or friend isn’t
receptive to offers of assistance?
Siglin: The biggest issue that we hear about is
adult children who perceive that something needs
to change about an elderly loved one’s situation,
but that elderly person doesn’t agree. I convey
that there’s only so much you can do. You may
want to do more, or you may feel that you need to
do more, but if they’re competent adults, there’s
only so much you can do. People are glad to hear
that—it takes the pressure off.
We convey that this is a process and that you have
to be realistic and take it one step at a time. They’re
happy to hear that—it makes them feel like
they don’t have to tackle everything at once.
It can be intimidating to approach parents about
change because often your parents still see you as
a 12-year-old kid. We can tell people that everyone
goes through that, that it’s okay, and that
there are strategies you can use.
Holland: You can work together to make decisions
and retain respect and integrity.
Siglin: But the reality is that sometimes you don’t
come to that mutual decision. Don’t say, “I’m
never going to put you in a nursing home.” You
can try to look at strategies that keep that from
happening but you can’t exclude that as an
option, if that’s what’s best for the
elderly person.
Are there any UI services
for people whose elderly loved ones don’t live
in the area?
Holland: It doesn’t matter where your elderly
friend or relative lives—Family Services can
help. The emotions and concerns are the same; it’s
just that the available resources are different.
I’ll interview the staff member to find out
about the needs of the elderly person, and then I’ll
put together a packet of information that’s
relevant for the elderly person’s needs and
location. I try to find one specific local contact
person for them to talk to, so they at least have
one personal contact.
The oldest baby boomers are about to turn 60—how
do you think elder services will change in the future?
Holland: In general, we will see more older workers
in the workplace, and we will have to develop ways
to accommodate their needs, in addition to the needs
of those staff who are caring for elderly relatives.
Siglin: We’re seeing this in its infancy,
and we know it’s going to explode in the next
20 to 30 years. The cohort of baby boomers isn’t
going to be satisfied with the current landscape.
by Anne Remington
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