Forming New Friendships
One of the most common concerns of new students at Iowa is social. There is always a certain amount of anxiety over “fitting in,” feeling comfortable at the University, and developing a group of close friends.

It takes time to meet people
Saying goodbye to family and longtime friends and moving to an environment where few people (if any) are known can be stressful.

• Students need to brush off their interpersonal skills and be assertive about introducing themselves to their floormates and classmates.
• In some ways, the first semester of college feels like elementary school; new students have to remember how to make friends, because it has been many years since they have had to start from scratch socially.

Join campus activities
The University devotes a great deal of time and energy to hosting a wide range of events during the fall semester.

• Welcome Week is the cornerstone of this programming. Its events are designed to promote a sense of community among students, faculty, and staff at Iowa, and they provide excellent opportunities to meet people and learn about the University and its resources.
• The Residence Life division of University Housing plans many social and educational events for new students to meet their peers in the residence halls, form new friendships, and get involved in programming geared toward helping new students make healthy good choices in their lives.

As the year progresses, students get much better at knowing what’s happening on campus, and how to get involved in the things that interest them.

Advice for parents
Here are some ways you can help:

• If students express that they haven’t met a lot of people and don’t have any close friends at Iowa like in high school, remind them that they’ve known their closest friends for up to twelve years, but may have only been on campus for a few weeks! It takes time to develop the kinds of deep, meaningful friendships that are built on shared experiences, trust, and support, but it will happen.

• As the first few weeks pass, ask about your student’s social life, and discuss how (and with whom) your student is spending time: “Have you met a lot of people? Are there activities you plan to join?" This can help you to understand your student’s needs, and allow you to make some suggestions about how to ease the transition to a new social environment.

• Some students handle their fear of loneliness by spending a lot of time with friends or acquaintances from high school, or by rooming with someone they know from their hometown. While this can provide some much needed security when so much is new and different, these students often say in hindsight that they wish they had been more assertive in meeting people during their first semester, and now that several semesters have passed, they feel like they are playing “catch up.”

• Encourage your student to seek out the advice of his or her resident assistant, floormates, or upper-class students regarding how to get involved on campus. Provide lots of encouragement to try new things, which can be a great way to meet new and interesting people.

• One of the easiest ways to get started is to talk about the kinds of activities your student enjoyed doing in high school, and how to continue being involved in these things while at college. The online Master Calendar of Events and the Black and Gold Book for New Students are great resources for discovering campus activities.