Living with a Roommate
A common concern of students living in the residence halls (which house more than 90 percent of first-year students) is their roommate: “Will I get along with my roommate? Will we be friends, or will we hate each other? What can I do if I’m having problems dealing with this person?”

While the process of living with a complete stranger can be stressful for even the most easygoing student, it’s important to remember that any new relationship will have its natural ups and downs, and the overwhelming majority of roommates live together well and form good relationships despite the odds that seem to be against it!

Communication is key
The living situation in the residence halls promotes the development of many essential skills.

• Students learn to be assertive and stand up for their rights, to be clear communicators, to establish rules and guidelines, and to work through conflicts.

While there are procedures in the University Housing & Dining system to handle situations that become intolerable, most students say (in hindsight) that while it may have been stressful at the time, they learned a lot about dealing with people from their time in the residence halls, and it was a fantastic experience!

Advice for parents
Here are some things you can do to help:

• Avoid potential problems by preparing your student to be tolerant of others, and understand that your student’s habits may be just as alien to the roommate as the roommate’s are to your student!
  • Discuss the need to be open to new perspectives; nonjudgmental; and respectful of the other person’s space, belongings, customs, and traditions.
  • Tell your student to expect the same respect in return.

• It’s always a good strategy for new roommates to create a set of ground rules for their living space, which can include everything from sharing food and personal items to having friends over.

• Despite what you might hear from your student, don't automatically assume that his or her roommate is completely to blame for a crisis.

• In the vast majority of roommate conflicts, the main issue boils down to differences in preferences, habits, or values that can be worked out with good communication and open discussion.

• Be supportive, listen to concerns, and work together to discuss possible solutions to any issues that arise. But let your student handle things on his or her own unless it is clear that your student’s well-being or safety is at risk.

• Roommate problems don’t always necessitate one student moving out or a roommate switch.

• Remind your student that he or she can talk with the Resident Assistant if difficulties arise, and get some immediate assistance in mediating problems and coming up with successful solutions.