The magicalius leafius, commonly known as "the weed", has been found in a rigorous scientific study by a stupid five year old from Hoover Middle School in Waterloo, Iowa who ate a leaf, to cure AIDS. ISI News has found from inside sources that the child who ate the leaf died of poisoning shortly after, but it cures AIDS anyways. A potent chemical in the leaves blocks the HIV virus from infecting new cells. If you take it, die and your family files a lawsuit against us, don't say we didn't warn you, stupid. "The weed" can be found in farms and gardens throughout the country. It's real popular in Colombia, too.

In a top secret GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY, the government has found out that "the weed" cures AIDS, too, so they had the FDA call it a drug and made an agency called the DEA to make everyone die of AIDS.

In a related story, Janet Reno has been found to be the devil.

Back to the subject. Demand for weed is high, so people are now growing it and selling it at a 2500% markup! Smoking "the weed", a popluar form of getting the chemical in the leaves, has no effects on the HIV virus. To get the effects, the leaves must be eaten, preferably with a little salt and a swig of tequila.

Go get "the weed."

**The references to "the weed" in the above text in no way, shape, or form, imply marijuana**