Basic tenets

Assertiveness includes both a set of techniques and a philosophy to govern human interaction. The techniques and the philosophy are linked: there is no "assertiveness" without belief in the underlying philosophy

Components of an assertive situation

Confidence in basic human rights

Ability to identify a specific behavior to which you will respond

Awareness of feeling reactions to this behavior

A specific behavior you would prefer

Considerations of consequences to both parties

Win-win negotiation

Signal intentions

Identify problems before solutions

Seek mutual trust and respect

Areas of greatest potential first

Share information step by step

Reward positive signals, concessions

Avoid defensiveness, legalistic posture

Successful negotiation addresses

Interests

Options

Standards

Alternatives

Proposals

Barriers to success include

Your reactions

Their emotions

Their positions

Their dissatisfaction

Their power