Links> Witry's Guide to Roman Emperors

Witry's Guide to Roman Emperors

Starting With The Julio-Claudian Dynasty:

• Adopted by Julius Caesar c. 48 BC
• You already know his original name was Octavian
• Marched on Rome in 43 BC, eventually organized triumvirate with Marc Antony and Lepidus
• Lepidus tried to overthrow Octavian in 36 BC, but is defeated and placed under house arrest for the rest of his life
• Takes out Antony at Actium in Greece, where Agrippa trapped Antony's fleet on September 2, 31 BC
• Rest of Antony and Cleopatra's men defect by 30 BC
• Invented a series of legal fictions to make it look as though he was not actually the dictator - the title "Emperor" originally just referred to a general in command of armies
• Had one daughter, Julia, whom he married off to several men, the last of whom was Tiberius
• Built a new Forum - artists of his day included Vergil, Horace, and Ovid in poetry, and Livy in prose
• Ruled during disasterous defeat at Teutoburger Forest in 9 AD, when Roman legions under Varrus were ambushed by Germans under Arminius and slaughtered - bodies of Roman soldiers could still be found hanged from trees here hundreds of years later - stopped Roman expansion at the Rhine
• Died of natural causes in 14 - probably not poisoned by his wife Livia - last words were supposedly "Varrus, Varrus, give me back my legions"

• Think of him as "the moody one"
• Stepson and son-in-law of Augustus
• Quit politics without warning in 9 BC and ran away to Rhodes until 2 AD
• Generally peaceful era, but Tiberius had little tact (referred to the Senate as "men fit to be slaves")
• Imperial favorite Sejanus basically ran the government from 23-31, when he was declared a traitor and executed
• Retired to Capri in 26, where he spent his time watching various weird sex acts and brooding over the death of his son Drusus
• Tacitus is our source for his dirty deeds
• Died of natural causes in 37, leaving a full treasury but also leaving behind no specific instructions on who was to be his heir, apart from vague hints that it should be Gaius

• Think of him as "the psychopath"
• Nickname "Caligula" means "little boots" - he received it by tagging along with his father, a general, who dressed him up as a soldier
• Nephew of Tiberius
• Became emperor at age 24
• Started out strong by recalling exiles and reforming the tax system, but then he lost it
• Had an incestuous relationship with sister Drusilla, who was deified upon her sudden death in 38
• Was very hairy - mentioning a goat in his presence became a capital offense
• His horse, Incitatus, dined with the Emperor, and he considered making Incitatus a consul
• Tried to get a statue of himself built in the Temple of Jerusalem, nearly inciting a revolt
• Our source of dirt on him is Suetonius
• Assassinated in Judea by the Praetorian Guards in 41 (last words - "Strike again, I'm not dead"), Senate voted Claudius emperor

• Think of him as "the jack of all trades"
• Uncle of Caligula: had been bypassed previously in the line of succession because of a neurological disorder that made him stutter, slobber and limp
• Succeeded because of the Columbo Effect: everybody thought he was stupid, so they underestimated him
• Conquered Britain in 43 and North Africa around 48
• Encouraged urbanization
• Surrounded himself with ex-slaves, who performed many administrative duties: he was the first emperor to do so
• Crafty when necessary, he had many of those whom he suspected of plotting summarily put to death
• Wrote his own history of Rome (now lost)
• Built lots of water-related things, like aqueducts and ports
• After many an attempt, was finally poisoned by his wife Agrippina in 54

• Think of him as "the flamboyant one"
• Originally named Lucius Domitius Ahenobarbus
• Stepson of Claudius, installed by his mother Agrippina (who appeared on his early coins)
• Ascended the throne as an adolescent while Mommy called the shots
• Got sick of his wife/stepsister Octavia, and when Agrippina didn't want him to divorce her, Nero had Mommy bumped off in 58
• Rome burned in 64: Nero, unpopular because of treason show trials, got the blame
• Planned the rebuilding of Rome in a grand style - set off a big chunk of the city for his palace (the Golden House)
• Appeared on stage for the first time in 65, shocking and amusing the public
• Had poetry and music events installed in the Olympics (he got the gold medal in each)
• Kicked his new wife, Poppaea, while she was pregnant in 66, killing her
• Deposed by army revolts in 68, he committed suicide (last words: either "Too late. How loyal you are" to a palace guard who tried to help him, or "What an artist dies in me!")

• General Galba of Spain made it to Rome in 68, had himself declared Emperor
• 69 is The Year of Four Emperors, Galba (killed by his former co-conspirators in January), Otho (governor of Lusitania, who came to Rome with Galba, committed suicide as invaders approached in April), Vitellius (appointed by Galba to Germany, overthrew Otho for overthrowing Galba, overthrown and dumped in the Tiber in December), and the next guy...

• Think of him as "the man of the people"
• Well-known and experienced general, he was placed in charge of ending the Jewish revolt in 66
• Revolted against Vitellius in July 69, appointing his son Titus to finish off the Jews
• Age 60 when he beat Vitellius and became Emperor
• Used public works to help him hold the throne, such as the Temple of Peace and knocking down the Golden House to build the Flavian Amphitheater (since there was a colossal statue of Nero outside it, the Amphitheater became generally known as the Colosseum)
• Sarcastic and stubborn, but effective: built up the treasury, expanded the empire into Wales, north England, and Germany, had the best and brightest of the ordinary folks of Rome promoted to senator
• Died peacefully in 79 (last words: "Wow, I must be turning into a god", a spiteful comment on the Roman practice of deifying dead emperors)

• Think of him as "the young Vespasian"
• Elder son of Vespasian, finished off the Jewish revolt in 70 (and had defeated Jews thrown to the lions)
• His mistress, Berenice, was a Cleopatra type, but he dumped her when he became emperor
• Finished construction of the Colosseum and built a namesake arch in Rome to commemorate his victory over the Jews
• Rebuilt Rome (again) after a fire in 80, and gave lots of disaster aid after the eruption of Vesuvius in 79 (which buried Pompeii and Herculaneum as we see them today)
• Died suddenly in 81, probably of some disease - was only 42

• Think of him as "the megalomaniac"
• Another son of Vespasian, was the natural choice when his beloved brother died
• Micromanager: fiddled with low-level economic policy and supervised morality
• Religious traditionalist, harassed Jews
• Built a new temple of Jupiter and a new Imperial palace on the Palatine Hill
• Liked to be referred to as "Lord and God"
• Lousy general, was constantly plagued by barbarian raids
• Had a gift for pissing off the Senate
• Killed in a palace plot in 96, and the Senate ordered his memory damned (he was removed from all inscriptions, portraits, etc.)

• Think of him as "the Roman Chernenko"
• An Old Guard senator, he ascended the throne the day Domitian died
• Was already old and frail - he was picked as a sort of interim emperor until somebody better would show up
• Left administration to old, trusted colleagues
• Clearly designated a successor, Trajan, in 97 - one of only a few emperors to do so
• Died of old age in 98

• Think of him as "the last conqueror"
• A Spaniard, got the job as successor because of military triumphs
• Conquered Dacia (modern Romania) between 101 and 106: carried home lots and lots of gold
• Had a namesake column built in central Rome to commemorate his victory in Dacia
• Got along well with the Senate and the populace at large
• Contemporary of Juvenal (the "bread and circuses" line was written about his reign)
• Had a new marketplace built, along with baths, an arch in Beneventum, and a road to Brundisium - all named for him
• Attacked Parthia in 116, conquering Babylon and Ctesiphon and reaching the Persian Gulf
• Died on his way back to Italy from the east
• Recieved nickname "Optimus" ("the best")

• Think of him as "the builder"
• Another Spaniard, was designated heir to Trajan (and son-in-law of Trajan's cousin)
• Abandoned some of Trajan's more distant conquests (like Parthia and Dacia), and built fortifications along the new borders
• Travelled around the empire, inspecting forts and improving the morale of his soldiers
• Built (and, rumor has it, designed) the Pantheon and several provincial cities, along with a mausoleum that later became the Castel Sant'Angelo
• The imperial favorite, Antinous, was deified upon his death
• Died peacefully, but the Senate, which hated his constant travels, tried to have his memory erased: his successor fought them off

• Think of him as "the boring one"
• Hadrian's second pick as successor: served in numerous bureaucratic positions
• Refused to have September renamed for him (and October renamed for his wife)
• Finished up Hadrian's projects, but his works were generally more practical and less ambitious
• Competent administrator, didn't do anything flashy
• Died quietly in Rome (last word: "Equanimity")

• Think of him as "the philosopher"
• Held numerous jobs in the bureaucracy
• His brother Lucius Verus was his co-emperor until 166, but was somewhat of a playboy and didn't do much
• Parthians attacked in 161, but Verus (or rather, the guys Aurelius sent along to look after Verus) beat them back: however, the returning army came down with smallpox in 166
• Germans charged over the border in 166, and Aurelius would spend the rest of his life fighting them off
• Top physician Galen was his doctor
• Member of the Stoic school of philosophy, his "Meditations" are notes to himself on how to keep calm in dangerous times
• A statue of him on horseback is in St. John's Lateran (it survived because it was long misidentified as Constantine)
• His wife Faustina had a bad reputation
• Died of illness in Germany

• Think of him as "the man who would be Rambo"
• Marcus Aurelius' son, he served as an apprentice emperor until his ascent to the throne at age 19
• Liked to dress up as Hercules (and changed his name to Hercules in 192)
• Yes, he actually did like to fight in the gladiatorial games, although the gladiators generally knew that defeating the emperor would be bad for them and their families
• Renamed all the months after his various titles
• Re-founded Rome in 190: it was now to be called Commodiana
• Since nobody wanted to worship this guy, many converted to Christianity or Mithraism
• Strangled to death in his bathtub by the athlete Narcissus in 192: his memory was later cursed

• First of the soldier emperors
• Beat other contenders for the imperial throne in a brief civil war
• Invaded Mesopotamia and had a triumphal arch built in Rome
• Ruthlessly wiped out anyone he suspected was a threat to his power
• Advice to his sons on how to rule Rome: "Get along; pay off the soldiers; and disregard everyone else"
• Died of disease in York in 211

• Among the notables: Caracalla (211-217), son of Severus, who bumped off his brother Geta in a power struggle, built new baths in Rome, and was stabbed to death on his way back from a pilgrimage in Syria
• Elagabalus (218-222), formerly Marcus Aurelius Antoninus, grand-nephew-in-law of Caracalla, decided that Rome should worship the Syrian sun-god Elagabaal: tried to marry a Vestal Virgin, wanted a vagina surgically implanted, was thrown into the Tiber by his guards
• Alexander Severus (222-235), a child emperor, among the first to include Jesus and Abraham in his pantheon of gods
• Philip the Arab (244-249), not surprisingly, an Arab, presided over Rome's 1000th birthday and was credited by early Christian authors as being secretly Christian

• A soldier from Dalmatia, he got his start under emperor Carus (who, incidentally, was killed when he was struck by lightning)
• Changed his title from "Imperator" ("General") to "Dominus Noster" ("Lord and Master")
• Split the empire into four parts in 285, each governed by one of his lieutenants
• Moved his capital to Milan
• Tried to implement price controls, but gave up and switched tax collection and soldier payments to payment in kind
• Made several professions (soldiers, bakers, members of town councils, and tenant farmers) hereditary
• Tried to shut down Christianity with the "Great Persecution" of 303
• Retired to Split in Croatia in 305, refusing to come back despite chaotic conditions - died in 316 (you can still see his palace in Split)

• A general under Diocletian, he was proclaimed Emperor in York, then moved to Trier, Germany for a few years
• His brother-in-law, Maxentius, was the East Emperor, but the two never got along and they went to war in 312
• Constantine sees - either in a dream or in broad daylight - a message telling him to put the sign of the cross on his men's shields and he'll beat Maxentius: he puts on the crosses and his men crush Maxentius at the Battle of Milvian Bridge
• Convened church councils at Arles (314) and Nicaea (325), which kicked out the Arians
• The East Emperor after Maxentius, Licinius, also challenged Constantine - he held out a little longer, but was beaten at Adrianople in 324, leaving Constantine sole ruler
• Built the foundations of St. John's Lateran and St. Peter's before deciding to move the capital
• Laid out Constantinople in 328: it was ready in 330
• Died on Pentecost, 337, shortly after being baptized (deathbed conversions were common in his day): his relatives waited a few days out of respect before slaughtering each other over the succession

• Julian the Apostate (361-363) reverses Constantine's decision on Christianity and tries to restore paganism: he's killed in a campaign against the Persians (last words: "The Galilean won")
• Valentinian I and Valens (364-375 and 364-378), a team of brothers who spent most of their time fighting Goths driven west by the invading Huns: Valens got his ass kicked by the Goths at Adrianople in 378
• Theodoric the Great (378-395), the last emperor of a unified empire, also called the Council of Constantinople
• In 403, the capital of the West moves to Ravenna, where it would stay until the end of the Empire
• Alaric the Visigoth sacks Rome in 410
• Attila the Hun becomes top Hun in 433: signs a treaty with Rome, but attacks in 447: turned away from Gaul at the Battle of Chalons-sur-Marne in 451 by a Roman-Visigoth alliance, he then attacked Italy, but was convinced by Pope Leo I to turn around and go home: he died of a hemorrhage in 453
• Roman Emperors were puppets of barbarian invaders from c. 400 on: Romulus Augustus (475-476) is commonly recognized as the last, a 14-year-old who was deposed and sent into exile by the barbarian Odoacer (although he was survived by one Julius Nepos, who ruled in Dalmatia until 480)