Sexual Health
Is my relationship healthy?
We all probably wonder about our relationships from time to time - Is this relationship good? Is it worth it? The following questions can help you assess the health of your relationship and determing if it is a good one.
- Do you feel at ease in the relationship?
- Do you feel equally good when together and apart?
- Can you say what you really think and feel?
- Do you feel accepted and cared for?
- Can you say "no" without feeling guilty?
- Are you secure that your partner cares for you?
- Do you feel listened to?
In a healthy relationship, you should be able to answer each of the above questions "yes" most of the time. No relationship is perfect and we all go through better and worse phases - but overall, these questions are indicators of a relationship that's in pretty good shape. If you answered "no" to any questions, these are areas to reflect on and to think about changing.
| Healthy Relationships |
Unhealthy Relationships |
- Each person feels like an individual
- Each person feels responsible for his/her own happiness
- Each person is responsible for his/her self-esteem
- Togetherness and separateness are balanced
- Relationships are established and maintained outside the partnership
- Relationships are established and maintained outside the partnership
- The opportunity exists for support and growth - for each person and for the couple
- Finds commitment acceptable
- Accepting of each other
- Each person has established healthy, comfortable limits or boundaries
- A willingness to recognize when the relationship is changing
- Brings out the best qualities in both people
- Each person feels the freedom to honestly ask for what is wanted
- Accepts endings
- Achieves intimacy without the use of alcohol or other drugs
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- One or both partners feel incomplete without the other
- One or both partners rely on the other partner for their happiness
- One or both partners rely on the other for their self-esteem
- Levels of togetherness are out of balance
- There is an inability to establish and maintain relationships with others
- One or both partners practice ineffective communication: game playing, passive/aggressive, beating around the bush, unwillingness to listen
- Lack of opportunity for individual and/or relationship growth
- Attachment, addiction, or lack of commitment
- Trying to change partner
- Limits and boundaries are poorly established or defined
- The illusion that the relationship will (should) always be the same is maintained
- Brings out the worst qualities in both people
- One or both partners feel unable to express needs or desires
- Unable to let go
- Uses alcohol/other drugs to reduce inhibitions, and create a false sense of intimacy
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Page updated: 3/27/08
