CAST OF CHARACTERS

COURTNEY, an ultra-religious teenage girl

KAYLE, an effeminate teenage guy

EUNICE, their friend


THE TIME
The Present. Late fall.


THE PLACE
A parking lot outside of a stadium on a very dark, cold night. .

KAYLE Ah, Revelation 21.

COURTNEY Actually, it's Revelation 22.

KAYLE Sorry My Savior.

COURTNEY (Pause, blissful look.) That was the most amazing concert I have ever seen.

KAYLE It was fabulous.

EUNICE (High pitched voice.) Kayle and Courtney, thank you for taking me tonight.

COURTNEY You're welcome, Eunice.

EUNICE I mean, God, I can't believe I just saw Jason Greiman LIVE!

COURTNEY We don't use the Lord's name in vain, Eunice.

EUNICE Sorry.

KAYLE What was your favorite part?

EUNICE Oh, all of it.

KAYLE Mine was when the whole stage turned blue and those clouds appeared. And then, then Jason rose up above them in that really tight, white vinyl angel outfit, remember that? And you could see that he was really in shape and treats his body like a temple. Anyway, the neon lights shined above him and then he took his microphone and opened his lips and sang: (Imitating him, singing a pop tune, like the song before.) I am the light of the world. No follower of mine shall walk in darkness. He shall have the light of life.

EUNICE (Talking over his performance.) It's soo cold. What are we waiting for?

KAYLE (Continuing his performance.) If you stand by my teaching, you are truly my disciples.

COURTNEY I wasn't going to tell you, because I thought you'd be jealous.

KAYLE You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.

EUNICE Jealous?

COURTNEY As you probably know, I am the president of the Ohio Chapter of the Christian Fan Club of Jason Greiman.

KAYLE (Hoping COURTNEY won't notice, he switches to "Like A Prayer.") When you call my name, it's like a little prayer.

EUNICE Of course. Anyone who's anyone knows that.

KAYLE I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there.

COURTNEY And part of my duty and devotion to God and to the club is to correspond with him.

KAYLE In the midnight hour, I can feel your power.

EUNICE God?

KAYLE Just like a prayer, I wanna take you there.

COURTNEY No. (Folds her hands in a prayer. She is frustrated with KAYLE.)

KAYLE Just like a prayer, I'll take you there.

EUNICE Oh you talk to Mr. Greiman?!!

COURTNEY I call him Jason. (To KAYLE.) Kayle, remember what the Reverend said? You should, "Fear your problem."

KAYLE stops his performance.

EUNICE So, does he ever call you?

COURTNEY I've never really spoken with him. We have a very professional relationship through letter writing.

EUNICE Ok, wow!

COURTNEY So, anyway the secret is...

KAYLE (Spoken.) She thinks Jason is going to meet us here in the parking lot.

COURTNEY I don't think; I know. He promised me time out of his busy schedule.

EUNICE Ok, wow.

COURTNEY I said some extra prayers this morning. I'm positive he'll be here.

KAYLE He won't.

EUNICE You don't want him to come here and meet us?

KAYLE Of course I do! I love Jason. I love everything he stands for: Christ our Savior, family values, abstinence, anti-drugs and alcohol, anti-abortion, anti-violence, except the death penalty.

COURTNEY Don't forget anti-gays.

KAYLE Oh, yeah. I forgot. Anywho, at his "Crown of Thorns" tour last year, Courtney had this delusion that he'd meet us after the show. But like tonight, he's a no-show.

COURTNEY It's going to be different this year. I've been the Ohio president for two years.

EUNICE Two years does say something.

COURTNEY Well, if you two have lost your faith, I suggest we all join in prayer. That'll surely God-speed Jason to us.

EUNICE Right on!

COURTNEY, KAYLE, and EUNICE join hands and bow their heads.