COURTNEY Dearest Creator, bring your beloved prophet to us. Fly him here to Lot C, I mean D. Well, it's actually kind of kittie-corner from F. Wait, you know that. Duh. And God, please send us a sign, for the non-believers, that Jason will arrive. Amen.

KAYLE (Breaks the prayer.) Golly, the parking lot is sure clearing. I wish we could go.

EUNICE My fingers just got numb. It's a sign!

COURTNEY See, I hate to say it, but I told you so.

EUNICE The Lord works in mysterious ways.

COURTNEY Oh my word! Look at those people. They sat a couple rows in front of us. They were drunk or high or something. I think they came to the show as a joke or something!

KAYLE They should have been kicked out.

COURTNEY (To the drunks.) DEVIL WORSHIPPERS!!! God will have the last laugh with them.

KAYLE (Yelling back at them.) YEAH, WELL WE'RE JESUS FREAKS AND PROUD OF IT!

COURTNEY (To KAYLE and EUNICE.) I can't ever imagine myself being that addicted to something. I just don't think that it's healthy to be doing such things at our age. (To the drunks.) AT LEAST WE'RE SAVED!!! (To EUNICE.) Are you saved?

EUNICE Umm..Yes?

KAYLE What she means is have you been born-again?

EUNICE Sometimes I think I was Mary Magdalene in a past life.

KAYLE No. You're a Christian, right?

EUNICE Of course.

KAYLE Well, did you ever do drugs?

EUNICE Never.

KAYLE Drink?

EUNICE Alcohol? Nope.

KAYLE Have you ever fornicated with some lonely, beautiful, Latin male named...

COURTNEY (Interrupting his tangent.) Sworn, told a lie, cheated, or disobeyed your parents?!!

EUNICE I guess so. I'm sorry.

KAYLE You should be scared. Very scared.

COURTNEY Exactly. All you need to do is come to Church on Sunday night and Reverend Marty will save you and you'll receive the Holy Spirit and accept Christ in your life and you can be a born-again Christian and never do any of those things ever again.

KAYLE It's very cool to be saved.

EUNICE Ok. Just as long as I can hang out with cool people like you.

COURTNEY My heart's beating faster. It's another sign. I feel him coming near.

KAYLE (Sneeze.) I just sneezed! It's a sign that it's too cold.

EUNICE Burrr. I'm chilled.

KAYLE I know, let's go. My mom doesn't want me out late with her station wagon.

COURTNEY Please be patient, like Moses.

EUNICE Like Moses?

COURTNEY (Seeing a chance to preach.) Yes, Moses. The greatest mortal man who ever lived. He was a prophet that God spoke to plainly, without riddles. He led God's chosen people through persecution and into The Promised Land. I mean, 40 years in the desert is a long time! He was a lawmaker, he gave The Ten Commandments, he endured the plagues of Egypt, I mean, the Red Sea split, bushes burned, rocks gushed forth with water, the earth cracked wide open, yet he obeyed our Lord.

EUNICE Oh, like that movie with Charlton Heston?

KAYLE I'm gonna go start the car.

COURTNEY If I were a man, I'd want to be Moses, who knew God face-to-face.

KAYLE Church starts in nine hours!

COURTNEY And soon, I will see Jason Greiman, face-to-face.

KAYLE Please. He had to have left by now.

COURTNEY He won't speak to me in song; he will speak to me plainly, without riddles.

KAYLE He's just a Christian rock star. Amy Grant had much more class, before she joined Lucifer on the Top 40.

COURTNEY On the day Moses died, he went on a walk with the Lord.

KAYLE He probably doesn't even write his fan letters, girl . . . I mean Courtney.

COURTNEY And all we know from history is that God showed him the Promised Land, where Moses' people will live, but Moses would never step foot on.

KAYLE Hello? I think I know this story. I've read the Bible; I'm not a loser. . "I have let you see it with your own eyes, but you will not cross over into it."

COURTNEY I'm willing to make the sacrifice Moses made, for Jason.

KAYLE You're scaring me. Remember the commandment, "You shall have no Gods except me."?

COURTNEY Moses listened to God speak, he sang a song, then God buried him in an unmarked grave.

KAYLE Let's leave, Eunice.

COURTNEY You don't believe me, do you?! Just like no one believed Moses, or the Apostles, or the Prophets. I'm not lying, he wrote to me. . Do you know what? He's going to be here soon, real soon. I have faith.

EUNICE I believe you're telling the truth.

KAYLE I believe you, too. But I don't believe in him. (Exits)

EUNICE Call me tomorrow. I'll remember to bring treats to Bible Study Power Hour. (Exits with KAYLE.)

COURTNEY Fine, everyone abandon me. I still believe in you. I still believe in you. I'm really good all the time, and I just want to spend some time with you. (Begins to cry and murmurs the following passage. Though meant to be obsessive and erotic, she's not fully conscious of what she's saying.) Exodus 15:1.I shall sing to Jason, for he has risen up in triumph. Horse and rider he has hurled up into the sea. Jason is my refuge and my defense. He has shown himself my deliverer. He is my Jason, and I shall glorify him. My God's Jason, and I shall exalt him. Jason is a warrior, Jason is his name. He will bring them in and plant them in the mount in my possession. The dwelling place, Jason, of your own making. The sanctuary, Jason, which your own hands established. Jason will reign for ever and for ever.

(Spotlight on COURTNEY, car lights. Sound of car.)

(Yelling to Jason's car, wiping the tears from her eyes and regaining her sanity.)

I knew you'd come. I'm Courtney Hancock, president of the Ohio Chapter of your Christian Fan Club. Remember, you wrote me a letter saying·. You want me to come with you? To your hotel? Why would I be scared, Mr. Greiman? I have faith in you. (Exits.)

(BLACK OUT.)

END OF PLAY.