SMACK!
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PAPER SNOWFLAKES ARE NEVER
SYMBOLIC | |
| The "emotional spigot of the world" he said
about himself, or rather his character or are they one in the same just like two names on paper yet to be separated but that's me -the emotional spigot- turn my head and the world's feelings come pouring out of my gut like so much waste water and field run off is that why our basement flooded every year? I can't stop it- I can't stop feeling everything a hundred times over but in the same second -I used to cry when Sally Struthers came on TV- or the guy at the gas station paying for cigarettes in change pennies, nickles, dimes, Icriedforthepoorbeingpoormyselfdidn'tmatter- And if I could would I turn back my head so the flow stops and I only feel myself deep down inside- so I can only hear my voice admonishing my stupidity and not her's screaming the norms when she's not it either why can't I help who I am even if the world laps at my feet like so many tidal waves only smaller - like a speck of dust infinitesimal and silly far off because we think we're not alone when we may not be but are too self centered to know otherwise except through TV shows and movies that may or may not be Happy Meal toys when will it end? Never- I just wanted to be myself even though I don't know who she is almost all the time except at that final moment just before I wake up like this morning when I swore I felt his chest beneath my cheek but it was only blue gingham sheets and blaring alarms because getting up is normal and feeling isn't- not when it's the world coursing through you veins even though everyone should realize it's in them too. | |
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